Blessing to you all. It has been a while and I did try to tell you what was going on with me a while back but for some reason it was not the time.
We are getting close to the end, and I have to tell you this journey was rough. I went through a slight depression that I managed to get out of on my own. It was triggered by being around people who were out for themselves, and I let them use me.
Within this time, I had to lie to get out of a situation that was very bad for my mental health. I was around people whose agenda was not aligned with my own. I learned a lesson. Do not believe what everyone tells you.
I trusted a person who said I would need to be more knowledge of certain things to move up. So, I need to be in a busier office. Well, I should have listened to my mother, my close friends and the hints that other managers were giving to let me know that I was making the wrong move.
But I ignored it and at this time I neglected my spiritual practice so that should have been a sign as well. During this time, I had heard a male voice while I was going to sleep. I was in that in-between phase. It said, “I’m here”. It startled me but sitting and thinking on this. If I didn’t hear that voice, I may not have had the courage to reverse the damage I had caused to myself.
I applied to a school to be able to move up and now that I see who that group is I don’t want it. The majority of them are toxic. No that is not me and I do not want to change to be one of them.
I tried to offer my services to other sites, yet my boss would not let me go. I got a certificate to teach and yet I was still locked in her chains.
So, I lied and informed them of my leaving. Do I feel guilty? Nope. I do not condone lying but I do not feel the shame I would normally feel in the past when I did. So, I am taking it as a sign that I am being help out of this situation.
Once I set this in motion oh my goddess the weight was being lifted off me. I managed to get my old job back. I managed to set some boundaries on my availability to them. I have taken time off to get my mind and soul right.
I have been burning seven-day candles to help them find my replacement. Oh, that is a story. I put on one of the candles to find the perfect replacement and No lie the perfect part was black, and the replacement part was clear. So, they will get a replacement, but it will not be perfect, but it will be good for them.
I just lit a red candle last night to speed up the process because I have withdrawn from this site. There are people I will miss but I will see them at function. That is good enough.
I went to visit the office I used to work out of and when I say there is only a handful of people that I recognize, that is the truth. I used to consider it home. Now it’s just another office.
This is where I want to return to the lie. I went to say hi to someone in this old office. Why did she reiterate my lie back to me? How many hire ups know about this lie? Did I go too far with it?
Still, I feel calm, and I say no. It has taken me a year and eleven months to realize that what I wanted then was not in my best interest. Yet the God and Goddess allowed me to make this mistake.
This experience will help mold me even further in the path that is chosen for me. I know this is a ramble but allot of time passed by and I wanted you to know what has been going on. My next post will interest you. So, stay tuned.
I wish you all the best blessing.